NEW DEFNITIONS

 

Cigarette: A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end and a fool on the other.

Dictionary: A place where success comes before work.

Lecture: An art of transferring information from the notes of the lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through the minds of either.

Conference: The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.

Compromise: The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece.

Tears: The hydraulic force by which masculine will power is defeated by feminine water power.

Conference Room: A place where everybody talks, nobody listens and everybody disagrees later on.

Smile: A curve that can set a lot of things straight.

Classic: A book that everybody praise, but do not read.

Office: A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.

Etc.: A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.

Doctor: A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you with his bills.

Committee: Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.

Experience: The name men give to their mistakes.

Atom Bomb: An invention to end all inventions.

Opportunist: A person who starts taking bath if he accidentally falls into the river.

Optimist: A person who while falling from Eiffel tower says in midway, See I am not injured yet.

Father: A banker provided by nature.

Miser: A person who lives poor so that he can die rich.

Politician: One who shakes your hand before elections and your confidence after.

Boss: Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.

Criminal: A guy no different from the rest..except  that he got caught.